It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think people are normalizing furries
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
