I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
bring money and cleavage
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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