I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
