mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
soo... how was my night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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