i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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