Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
