I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
