Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
