She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
