yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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