Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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