Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
