His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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