he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This toilet bowl is my home.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
