Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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