dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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