Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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