but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
