Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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