Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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