dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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