these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize