I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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