He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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