Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
