I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
