thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
