No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
