By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
