So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
