my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
