He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
