mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
