Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
