You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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