Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
