Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize