Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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