Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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