its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
