When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
