if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize