but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
