capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize