she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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