highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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