What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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