no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
