So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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