I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
