If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
