Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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