Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
