just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
