gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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