Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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