Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it was like eating out sand paper
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
