yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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