Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize