You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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