is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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