I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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