i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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